Friendships shape lives. When peer interactions between friends or siblings become problematic, the resulting anxiety, stress or hurt feelings can have lasting mental, emotional or behavioral consequences. Peer Mediation, however, can help the parties involved to resolve these conflicts quickly, effectively, and confidentially through direct, open conversation guided by a neutral Peer Mediator.
What is Peer Mediation? Peer Mediation is a form of conflict resolution that occurs between two or more peers who are classmates, roommates, neighbors, coworkers or friends; two or more siblings; or even between a teacher and a student. A Peer Mediator and the parties involved gather informally in a room, often around a table if in-person or virtually online if in-person is not an option. There are no judges- nobody who is there to make a judgment or give a consequence or punishment. With the help of the Mediator, the parties talk about the conflict with the goal of being heard by the other party and resolving the conflict in a way that satisfies all parties, often through a compromise of some kind.
What does the Peer Mediator Do? Working directly with those involved in the conflict, the Peer Mediator maintains a neutral stance as he or she guides each party to talk about what happened, focusing on why the conflict exists and providing a safe space for each party to talk about his or her position in the conflict and the reasons each party thinks, feels or behaves the way he or she does. The Mediator also encourages respect and active listening between the parties and helps the conversation stay on track. This approach enables the parties to understand each other better, which makes resolution easier and more amicable. Oftentimes, once the parties have listened and been listened to, they are able to generate solutions on their own. If that does not occur, the Mediator is trained to help the parties get there, but the Mediator does not make decisions for the parties or give consequences. The parties involved in the conflict are empowered to make their own decisions and resolve the conflict on their terms. Without the help of a trained Mediator, it is often the parents or the school staff who are tasked with refereeing the conflict, usually with limited resources. Unfortunately, parents and school staff exhaust their efforts without a lasting resolution because it is difficult for parents and school staff to be unbiased or not invested in the outcome of the conflict, and when the child or adolescent perceives this bias, he or she often will shut down, not be honest, or get defensive, all of which interfere with effective communication and problem-solving. The Mediator remains unemotional about the conflict and thereby able to guide the parties to resolution.
Why Choose Peer Mediation?
Timely Mediation often prevents the conflict from escalating into a more serious situation with more serious consequences.
Mediation is a great alternative to therapy for those adolescents who are opposed to therapy or who may not need therapeutic intervention--just conflict resolution or communication skills-building.
Mediation can get to the heart of the matter quickly and effectively, drastically reducing the time to resolution.
Unlike therapy, Peer Mediation does not require a mental health assessment or diagnosis of the parties, and does not involve talking about issues other than the current conflict.
Peer Mediation can be an effective response to situations involving bullying.
The skills learned in one Mediation session in one setting can be transferred and used in many other situations or settings involving conflict or disagreement.
Peer Mediation can occur in an office setting, at school, in the neighborhood, at work, or just about anywhere conflicts occur.
Peer Mediation in the schools (or online during COVID-19) can be an additional service provided to students through contracts with the school’s Student Services Departments without having to use the limited resources of school staff.
Youth who experience Peer Mediation can pay it forward and help other youth to resolve their conflicts with the skills they learn during their own process.
Peer Mediation can repair or preserve important relationships or create the foundation for systemic change within families, the school or the community.
Peer Mediation empowers youth to become emotionally intelligent critical thinkers, problem solvers and good communicators.
Midway Mediation & Counseling 1095 Pingree Rd., Suite 221, Crystal Lake, IL 60014 (224) 333-0267 michellegreen@midwaymac.com